


Time to Sweat

by robogreaser



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Arguing, F/M, Physical Fitness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 01:03:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/920151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robogreaser/pseuds/robogreaser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aradia wants to get healthy and work out. She turns to Equius but he is reluctant to aide her. Arguments ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Aradia leaned over Equius’s worktable and swatted his light out of the way. “We’re going to discuss this one way or another,”

“No we’re not,” Equius said.

“Yes we are,” Aradia smirked.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“My dear, you know I find you exquisite just as you are. You don’t have to change absolutely anything for me. Nothing at all.” Equius looked up from his work to stare into his matesprit’s maroon eyes.

“I don’t believe that for a second. I remember that robot you made. I was so svelte and lithe and perfect. I know you’d prefer that any day over me living such an unhealthy lifestyle. And more importantly Equius, I’m not doing this for _you_. I want to get in shape for _me_. I’ve taken such a lax attitude to everything since that game debacle. I need to get myself together,” Aradia said. She crossed her arms and glared at Equius, as if daring him to object. He had so far.

Equius had said his workout routines were grueling. He chewed his lip and dabbed at the perspiration on his forehead. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll help, but if I’m pressing you too hard or too far we’re stopping. And I’ll know if that comes to be. I could never bear the burden of pushing you too far my dear Aradia.”

“Fine,” Araida said with a smirk. She had gotten him to break at last. “But no lusus milk. I’m not going to drink that stuff. Ever. “

“You came to me seeking advice and guidance in order to begin living a healthier lifestyle. I would suggest not starting by dictating to me how we’re going to go about it,”

“Fine,” Aradia grumbled.

“To start,” Equius said, getting up from his seat, “you’re going to realize sweating is normal. You’re not going to make jokes about it any longer. I may have an inclination to sweat profusely, but as you will find out very soon, it is a normal occurrence. Embrace it,” Equius said.

“Fine.” Aradia grimaced at the thought of sweating as badly as her matesprit. “But it’s still gross,”

Equius rolled his eyes, but Aradia didn’t catch it behind the sunglasses. “Secondly, lusus milk will become an integral part of your diet. Not only will the protein help build muscle mass, but the various acids and enzymes will help boost your metabolism.”

“But baaaaaabe,” Aradia groaned. “That stuff is so nasty. And I don’t want to pump your lusus dry,”

“Enough of this whining. You’re so much better than this Aradia, please act like it,” Equius said, pacing around his work table and placing a hand on her shoulder.

Aradia frowned and grumbled to herself for a second. “Okay.”

“Lovely,” Equius said. “And lastly, your workout sessions will last and hour and a half each day without interruption. You will have one day off a week to recuperate. That’s it.”

“One day a week? Are you nuts Equius?” Aradia asked.

“No.” Equius turned and began taking inventory of his workshop. “After all dear, you came to me to help you get into shape. How nuts can I be?”

“Very,” Aradia muttered to herself.

***

The next evening Aradia arrived in Equius’s workshop as he instructed to find it almost bare. The tables and chairs and most of his scrap robot parts were pushed against the walls and stacked on top of each other. The lights were spotlighted on the center of the room.

Equius awaited her.

“I’m here babe,” Aradia announced.

“I can see that,” Equius responded, pacing over to her and kissing her on the forehead. “Are you ready to start?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Then here,” Equius said, handing her a glass of milk from behind his back.

“You’re joking.” Aradia glared at him and groaned when he forced the glass into her hands. “Really?”

“Yes,” Equius said in a dead serious tone. “Now drink up, dear,”

Aradia groaned before downing the milk as quickly as she could. Equius cracked a little smile even as she shuddered at the taste and grimaced. “I don’t care what you say babe,” Aradia said. “That stuffs nasty.”

“Regardless,” Equius said, turning back to the center of the room, “we must begin with stretches.” He began with simple Alternain tai chi, bending forward to touch his toes.

Aradia walked up behind Equius and squeezed his butt.

“Aradia!” Equius yelped.

“If I have to lift weights, I’d appreciate it if they were at least as sexy and fun to play with as your hindquarters,” Aradia said as she circled Equius and smiled.

“You will cease this lewd behavior at once. It is both beneath you and detrimental to our time management. Please, Aradia,” Equius said, swatting Aradia’s grabby hands away as she tried to feel up his chest.

“You’re no fun Equius,” she groaned.

“Of course not. We have work to attend to and such frivolities are best left in the respite block,” Equius said before straightening out. “Now follow my lead.”

“And… do what exactly?”

“Pay attention Aradia. We’re here to stretch and then begin with some basic exercises. If this is too much trouble I can go back to my work and you can stop chasing such an unnecessary fantasy,” Equius said.

“Oh hush up you grumpy hoofbeast,” Aradia chuckled. She began imitating Equius as he went through the motions to warm up his muscles. She tried to hide her smile as he shone with sweat before they were through. So far so good, she felt good and she was spending time with him.

Was he a dork? Obviously. Was he a little weird? Yes, but it was endearing. Was Equius a little hard on her? Of course, but it was steeped in deep affection.

And that’s why she loved every minute of it.


	2. Chapter 2

A whole week of his healthy torture was starting to grate on Aradia’s nerves. Equius was thorough and concise in his methods.

They’d be up for breakfast at dawn, followed by warm up stretches and light cardio until midmorning, stop for a milk break, resume cardio and light weights until lunch, then came lunch, followed by heavier weights and kickboxing until dinner.

“Can we just take a break for a few minutes?” Aradia asked in a huff. She struggled with the dumbbell shaking in her grip. Equius looked down at her and frowned.

“No.”

“Why not?” Aradia asked as she slipped the weight into Equius’s awaiting hand.

“Because we just had a break an hour ago and you’re barely trying as it stands.” Equius said, helping a sweaty Aradia up off the bench.

“Barely trying? Equius, babe, I’m soaked and out of breath and every muscle in my body aches,” Aradia whined, slumping forward.

“Well you’re mouth muscles don’t seemed to be too tired,” Equius said. “Let’s get back to work. I think you’re ready for another weight,” Equius said as he went to add another set of weights.

Aradia groaned. “Please Equius, we’ve been at this for a week. I feel great but I need a break to recover. I need to rest one of these days or I’m going to get hurt.”

“No you won’t,” Equius rebutted.

“You don’t want to see me get hurt do you?” Araidia asked.

“I have no worries about said possibility,” Equius said, grunting as he sorted through his weights. “I am supervising these proceedings, and as such I know what you are and are not capable of. As of right now, I suggest you get back to lifting if you are to build anymore muscle mass,”

Aradia groaned again and flopped down on to the bench. “But that’s just it Eq!” She covered her face and groaned. Aradia was good at groaning. It got Equius’s attention and adequately described her displeasure with doing things she didn’t want to do. She groaned again.

“I highly recommend you cease making such wriggler-like noises. You are a sophisticated lady and it will reflect poorly on you to devolve into such a state,” Equius said as he set up the heavier weight for his matesprit.

“Equius,” Aradia said. She uncovered her face and sighed. “Equius, babe, I told you I wanted to get into shape. I did not say I wanted to compete in the next Miss Alternia bodybuilding competition. Can we give this a rest. I’ve been doing this for seven days straight. Everything hurts,”

Equius stopped. “I do not wish to see you in any pain. If you’d like to take a day or two of rest, I’ll oblige.”

“Yesss!” Aradia said. She grinned and sat up slowly, feeling every sore muscle in her body stretch and ache. It hurt, yes, but at the same time she could feel herself progress with ever ting of pain.

Equius watched her get up and walk off to the showers. She had trimmed down rather quickly with the aide of his direction and a boosted metabolism (courtesy of the lusus milk no doubt.) It warmed his heart to know he was giving Aradia exactly what she had asked for.

He was worried though. He didn’t want to see her in any sort of pain or discomfort. Aradia deserved better than that. She deserved much better than that, especially at his own hands.

Equius finished cleaning the equipment while Aradia was in the shower. He walked over to the bathroom door and listened to the shower run. “Dear?” He called through the door.

“Yeah?”

“May I come in for a second?” Equius asked.

“Of course silly! I’m already in the ablution trap,” Araida laughed.

“Bathtub,” Equius corrected her as he entered the steamy, white-tiled room. “I just need to get something from the medicine cabinet,”

“Uh huh,” Araida said as she shampooed her sweat matted hair. “You know Equius, you could always take a break and join me in here,”

Equius dropped several things into the sink. “Don’t be so lewd Aradia. Now is not an appropriate time to be thinking of such things,”

“Oh come on Eq. I’m all soaped up and slick and…” The door slammed. “Equius? You there?” There was no response. “Party pooper,” Aradia grumbled as she rinsed her hair.

Equius, meanwhile, took the cap off the ointment he had gotten in the bathroom. He sat down as the smell of peppermint and chemicals hit his nose. He relaxed a bit. He squeezed a dollop of ointment into his hand and smeared it and rubbed it into his arms. He flexed a bit as his skin warmed under the ointments influence.

He had been spotting Aradia all afternoon. He had been lifting just as much as she had, if not more. He was sore and the topical cream helped.

Aradia walked in. “You going to share any of that, sweetie?”

“Come here,” Equius beckoned her over to the bench he was sitting on. Aradia, wrapped in a fluffy white towel, sat on his lap. “Let me,” he muttered in her ear as he took a dollop of crème and rubbed circles of it into her back and shoulders.

“Oh that feels nice,” Aradia breathed as the warm and cool sensations of whatever chemical was in Equius’s medicine reacted on her skin. He muscles had loosened a little bit in the hot shower, but not quite this much.

Aradia slumped a little as Equius worked the ointment in deeper, his fingers digging gently into her sore muscles. She slumped further forward, a light moan escaping her lips as she relaxed in her big, buff, blue boyfriend’s hands.

“Are you okay, dear?” Equius asked.

“I’m perfect right now. Right now with you I’m just so… at peace.” Aradia turned to look at him stare at her from behind his cracked glasses. “Did I ever mention to you how perfect a matesprit you are to me?”

“No,”

“Well, consider it said,” Aradia laughed.

Equius smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

Equius took to training his matesprit like he took to any one of his robotic projects. He was diligent. He was focused. He was shirtless ad sweaty.

And for three months Aradia waxed back and forth between black and red for him. He was pushing it. He was pushing _her_. Hard.

“I just wanted to slim down a bit! I told you I didn’t want to be a freaky bodybuilder!” Aradia shouted as she dropped her weights.  She glared at Equius. “I’m tired of this. I feel great and yet you keep pushing this. Let’s take a break,”

“No.”

“Yes!” Aradia shouted, kicking the bench.

“I would suggest you calm down and stop acting so barbaric. It’s very unbecoming of a lady such as yourself,” Equius said, his calm demeanor infuriating Aradia.

“I just want some time off Equius! Let’s go watch some tv and cuddle on the couch or something else besides all this sweating and soreness.” Aradia turned away and stormed out of Equius’s makeshift gym. She headed straight for the shower but stopped and changed her mind.

Equius followed her into the kitchen.

“What, pray tell, are you doing?” he asked as she opened the fridge. She leaned forward, he much tightened behind sticking up in the air.

“I’m breaking my diet,” she proclaimed with pride as she shuffled the bottles of lusus milk around. She had found her prey at last and pounced.

“Aradia, this is highly unacceptable,” Equius said as she pulled out a large slice of chocolate cake. “I don’t even remember purchasing such a confection. Where did that come from?”

“I made it,” Aradia said as she walked to the counter and set down her treat. She turned to find an appropriate utensil. Equius shook his head and stepped forward. “What are you doing?” she asked.

Equius grabbed the plate and yanked it away from Aradia and her incoming fork. “Saving your diet and new healthy lifestyle,”

“Well, you can stop,” Aradia snapped, snatching back her plate.

Equius tugged it away again. “No,” he said. “You came to me weeks ago begging me to train you and to help you get healthy. I will not have you undermining all of our progress.”

“Bullshit.” Aradia pulled back her plate of cake again. “One piece of cake after everything I did isn’t going to hurt. You’re way too uptight Equius. I’m healthy. I’m trim as a hedge and, quite honestly, sick and tired of lusus milk and protein bars. I need real food. And I need you to get off my super-toned rump about living a healthy lifestyle, cause if I’m hungry, and I can’t eat _that is not healthy_.”

Equius tugged the plate of cake again. Aradia tugged back. The frosting was dislodged now and was sliding down onto the plate. Equius tugged again. Aradia tugged again.

Equius tugged and—

There was cake all over his sweaty chest. The two of them went still as the chocolate crumbs and frosting fell off his muscles and onto the floor.  Aradia looked up at his wide yellow and cobalt eyes and waited for the impending storm.

He didn’t move.

Aradia reaced out and took a swipe of frosting off of Equius’s chest with her finger. She popped it into her mouth and savored the sugar and the little bit of sweat. “You’re a bit sweeter this way,” she said. Equius’s face twitched a little.

“Refrain from such lewd and despicable behavior this moment,” he said between clenched teeth. Aradia grinned and stepped forward. She drew closer the the still frozen Equius. She took a big lick of cake off of his body.

“Mmm,” she hummed. “Delicious.”

“Aradia, stop.” Equius took a step back and grimaced. “We are not going to avoid this subject just because of the current confection-related mishap and you’re insatiable urges. I am here to train you, not to be your personal buffet. Please refrain from your temptations.”

Aradia straightened out and frowned. “You don’t get it do you Eq,” she said. “I’m happy with everything we’ve accomplished. We’re done with all this super rigorous training and exercise. We’re done bench pressing three times my body weight. We’re done with ten hour sessions and four gallons of lusus milk. If I want to spend a day licking cake off you’re gorgeous body, you should respect that.”

Equius bit his lip.

He turned and exited the room, a third of Aradia’s cake still sticking to his body. Aradia heard a door slam several minutes later. She sighed as she cleaned up the mess on the floor and ate the little bit of cake still on the plate.

When finished she went to go find her grump-master boyfriend. He was in the bathroom, wrapped in a towel and dripping wet from the shower. “I’m sorry,” he grumbled as he pulled the wet hair out of his face.

“No Equi—”

“I should’ve respected your wishes and stopped when you wanted to. I just thought that you deserved my utmost dedication to your exercise and dieting. I just thought that you deserved one hundred and ten percent of my effort. I am sorry.”

Aradia strode over and threw her arms around him. “Babe, don’t you dare apologize. I’m not angry with you. I’m not angry with training. I’m just content with where I am now. Don’t apologize for giving me exactly what I wanted. Just… learn to relax a little more,” she said before giving him a kiss on the neck. “And learn when to stop, I could bench press Ampora and Tavros now. At the same time.”

Equius chuckled. “That was pretty funny babe,”

“Kind of like when you got covered in cake just now?” Aradia smiled.

Equius twisted his neck to look at her in the eye. “Yeah,”

Aradia laughed. “I would’ve cleaned you up you know.”

“Well then,” Equius smiled. “Let’s go get a piece of cake.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a commission for Anluz on tumblr.


End file.
